Take a Break
Taking a break brings energy and perspective back to your life and work. It is so important to get away now and then. It doesn't matter if it is a walk to a nearby park, a lunch with friends, or a week long vacation. Get out there and revitalize yourself!
I just spent a few days over Thanksgiving with my family in upstate New York. It was beautiful and relaxing. I still worked on the final rewrites for my book, but the time I spent away from my computer was rejuvenating. Board games, knife throwing, walks in the woods, frisbee with my brother, and the daily work on a 1,500 piece jigsaw puzzle are a completely different routine then I'm use to and it woke my mind up. I also took the train up and back. My car dying may have been a blessing in disguise because I was able to work, nap, read, and just stare out the window listening to music for hours.
After this week I have new perspective on my life and my book. Looking forward to jumping in and seeing what happens next! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
How many times in your life do you get to start over or begin anew? I'm guessing not many. What would you do? How would you act or relate to those in your life differently? How would you treat yourself differently?
I am on the precipice of such a moment in my life. My safe, responsible side that wants order and to know what is coming suggests I step away from the edge of the abyss and fall back on reliable resources and prospects. I usually listen.
This time I am choosing to jump and trusting that amazing things will come out of this. I am moving to Brooklyn. :)
When you get the chance will you jump and throw yourself in with abandon?
I'm in the final stages of publishing my first book. It's been an insane journey with so many unexpected adventures along the way that I may have to write my next book about this process.
Now I'm getting down to finalizing and editing my manuscript, but doubts and worried keep popping up. What if it doesn't make sense? What if I have lost my flow? What of it doesn't answer the questions people need answered?
I like to think that on the verge of success I would be excited and raring to go...don't get me wrong I have moments of feeling that way, but the freaking out and stress is kicking in more and more often.
I am beginning to realize that the most challenging part of this whole undertaking is dealing with finally putting myself out there. Once this book is out I am going to be held accountable for what it says. I will have chosen my voice. No more rewriting or changing my mind. All of it is out there and in print for anyone and everyone to look at.
There is another interpretation with "I will have chosen my voice". This is my voice. I have tried to include a few others' voices to show how how rich and diverse this work can be, but ultimately I have to write from my experience. I have to realize I can't answer all the questions or cover every base. However, I can get the conversation started with my voice.
And that's what it is. A conversation. I hope this book lays the groundwork for many conversations to come and that others will add their voices along the way.
After Sandy blew through town I began reflecting on the ramifications of the storm. I am fortunate to be safe, have power and heat, etc. Now that my basic needs are met and I have been able to take a breath I realize that it is my choice how to proceed from here. I need to decide how to look at this.
I am running out of gas in my car and will possibly lose a total of 1 1/2-2 weeks worth of work before things balance out again. For an independent contractor that's quite a hit to my budget. I could be worried, unsure, and upset about the loss and insecurity that comes with it.
On the other hand I can choose to pay attention to spending, trust I can make up for this later on, focus on what I can do, and use the unexpected time off to push forward with unpacking and book writing.
My frame of mind fluctuates between the two states and I find I need to keep thinking in the here and now to decide what's important. Do you have a choice? Not always, but when you do have you looked to see what direction you usually tend towards?
A good saying that comes to mind:
The Dali Lama has a quote; “If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.”
Hurricanes and Divorce
Last week Hurricane Sandy came through and long island was one of the hard hit areas. I was lucky to only lose power for four days and many are still without.
This past year I have been navigating through the end of my marriage.
There are many parallels I feel I can draw, but the one I want to focus on is about what can come from these disasters.
Right now people are pulling together and working harder then they normally would to help those in need. Support, survival being placed above preconceived notions of those in need, and hopefully people are growing from the experiences or relationships happening because of this storm.
While the process of ending a marriage is rocky and unbearable, to say the least, I was constantly aware of the support I received and the growth I realized was happening. I wasn't always happy about it and there was quite a lot of resistance to the changes going on, but I tried to experience those moments none the less.
While I wasn't always successful, looking back, I did what I could and experienced the moments I was able to to the best of my ability. Out of this past year has come a book, a publisher interested in the book, a private practice, closer friends, new found strengths, and sky diving.
When Sandy hit I intended to stay in my new apartment and ride out the storm. Then I heard a huge crack and watched a 30' tall pine tree come down near my building. I no longer felt safe. I also no longer cared that I was at the tail end of divorce and my ex immediately suggested he come pick me up. It felt much better having a disaster with someone I knew and we made it through the storm intact.
No matter what happens, it feels good to be able to set aside differences when people are in need. Whether you are receiving help or can volunteer to help others see if you can pin point those moments you set something aside and learn from the experience.
Emery is excited that Water & Stone is becoming a reality and hopes this blog will inspire others and be a place to share challenges, success, and exciting moments.